


Hisoka (and friends) go to hell

by Anonymous



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Also the hisoka I write is too...Happy, And why do I always make illumi so negative again, I guess the title is kind of misleading then, I just wanted to write out an idea of them going to hell, but I'm loving it, but they don't really go to hell in this, oh man idk, or something, this is horrible as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 20:23:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12465232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: like the title says (but they are not in hell yet)





	Hisoka (and friends) go to hell

One Saturday morning hisoak was sitting naked on his one-man couch rubbing his pointy chin. He was thinking about going shopping.  
Where should I go? Hisoka thought as he rubbed his chin hard like how Aladdin rubbed the genie lamp.  
Suddenly a flyer flew thru the air and smacked stopped on his face.  
BIG sales!! It wrote. Fashion Fair!!!  
"How convenient" hisoka said. He took the flyer, put on some brightly coloured clown clothes and exited his house, which was really a tent in the forest because hisoka doesn't like paying rent and no one would sell him a house.  
Hisoka was still rubbing his chin hard because he was thinking deep about his budget for the week. If he didn't budget his money properly he would end up as a hungry stinky sad clown.  
"I hope I have enough cash to spend on new clothes!" hisoka said out loud, to no one in particular.  
Hisoka hopped his way down the forest path excitedly like a happy jackrabbit who just got a carrot, and his wavy red hair bopping along behind him.  
It turns out that at the place there were MANY people. They were all rushing around to grab their hands on the bestest cheapest most discountedest goods. A human pushing a huge cart heaped with clothing rushed by hisoka, nearly knocking him down. They ran over a poor lost kid but no body noticed.  
"Too many people in this town" hisoka mumbled under his breath. He wanted to get his cards out and murder some of the humans but he didn't because their blood would stain the clothes and it would be hard to know whether the colour flattered him or not then. He cracked his fingers. "Time to get crackalackin'!"  
Hisoka hogged all the changing rooms by sealing them shut with his bungee gum and bungee gummed all the clothing he liked to where he was stood before the other people could claim them. He is very self-centered.  
He was comparing a pink furry crop top with a black mermaid mesh sequin singlet in the mirror when he suddenly felt something poke into his left buttcheek. Hisoka turned around.  
It was illumi. Illumi stared at him.  
Hisoka slapped himself mentally for getting too engrossed with shopping and forgetting to turn on his auto nen detector in the public. He also posed and admired his buttcheek from the back view with the mirror. Very sexy butt as usual, hisoka thought to himself.  
"Wat brings u here 2day ilium?" Hisoka smiles cheerily, like blooming red flowers on a sunny morning.  
"Release ur gum hisok" Illumi said, holding up his left hand, which were grasping pins between the fingers. "Or more pins are coming ur way"  
"Why should i" hisoka swaggered. the prospect of illumi fighting him, with the bonus of getting new clothes, made him very excited.  
"I won't fight u. Ill just buy all the clothes here and u wont be able 2 get anything." Illumi smiles triumphantly, pointing to the two piles of clothes hisoka had already gathered beside the mirror.  
"fuck" hisoak cursed. He wanted those clothes.  
"Illumi are u done yet mother is waiting!!" Kalluto shouted from a nearby place. Kalluto was holding a bunch of dresses and Kikyo was hammering violently at one of the bungee gummed changing room door.  
"COME OUT ALREADY WHY ARE U TAKING SO LONG?? ARE U TAKING A SHIT IN THERE??? IM GOING TO COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGER" she yells.

Hisoka giggled to himself because he thought Kikyo was dumb for not knowing no one was inside and so it was like a prank! Hisoka liked pranking people.

"Hurry up hisoka" illumi smiled very sweetly, dragging hisoso back to reality. The reality where all his carefully handpicked clothes were going to be taken and owned by the zoldyck, illumpi. "Make ur decision"  
"U have a nice smile illumi" hisoka was going to distract him and make away with the clothes, but then a humongous cart ran over the BOTH of them.

Illumi and Hisoka were flattened instantly like pancakes and they both died. Their souls exited their physical bodies and floated up in spirit form like steam from freshly baked white bread.  
"Fuk" illumi cursed.  
"Fck" hisoka agreed.  
They both were ascending now towards the ceiling and could see the chaos of the Big sale as it when on down below. Kikyo had knocked down one of the doors to the changing room and everyone else who tried to rush inside once they saw it was open. Kalluto was buried under a mountain of stiff dresses. Nobody seemed to have noticed their death.  
"Hey! Leave my clothes alone! :c " hisoka yelled at a man who was picking at his pile. But nobody heard him. Soon all the humans came like flies to a rotting carcass, and all of hisokas clothes were picked dry, even the ones he was wearing on his actual body. He was only left with his underwear because hisoka happened to be wearing yellowish underwear which looked like saggy diapers that day and no one was interested in that. Someone picked up illumis dead body too and thoughtfully placed it upright, albeit slouching, next to the other mannequins on show.  
"I always knew u would die by something stupid like this. But I don't deserve this." Illumi said gnashing his teeth, hands grasping for pins that weren't there.  
"at least were going to heaven" hisoka said. "we are floating upwards not downwards"  
"are we?" Illumi questioned.  
Hisoka was wrong. They were going to HELL.

**Author's Note:**

> I was about to post this then I realized that I put one of the sentences as a bullet point on accident. But that is an idea?? It's giving me ideas. I want to write more shitty fics now it's so enjoyable


End file.
